My Mental Health - An Update

The last post I wrote about my mental health was in March where I broke down "what I'm not okay' really means to me"; speaking about how my mental illnesses affect me as a person. Since then I have been on a serious roller coaster of shit and as much as I wanted to write about it I didn't even know where to begin, in fact I don't even know what I'm writing right now I'm just rambling as per usual.

A few weeks ago I made the biggest step after 10 years of dealing with all of this, I saw a doctor. I was terrified of going and part of me wanted to cancel the appointment and climb back in the hole I've been hiding in for so long but I didn't, I went to the appointment and I came out feeling a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I chose to start anti depressants (there will be a post about that for sure because damn that's been interesting so far) and I am booked in for regular check ups, I do however need to phone up to get therapy because apparently that's helpful if you have a lot of 'baggage' as my doctor put it.

Currently I feel like I am still on a roller coaster of emotions and although I feel proud of myself for finally taking the step to get help it's still a challenge. I always dealt with this on my own but now I've opened myself up, not just to a professional but to everyone around me - including my Mum who is full of the stigma that prevented me from opening up in the first place. Opening myself up means dealing with things in a different way, I've got such a network of people who care and want what's best for me and I'm just not used to it, I can't hide away anymore.