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07 August 2017

I Don't Talk About Mental Heath, So Let's Talk.

Mental health awareness is everywhere and it's definitely grown into a subject people want to talk about but no matter how many statuses, posts or videos I see about the subject I just struggle to get involved. Like many I have grown up surrounded by the negative stigma of MH and it hasn't helped being in a home where the subject is so misunderstood that my Mum says people with depression should "get over it" and anxiety is "stupid" as if it can be turned off with a switch.

I know that the majority of people do understand mental illness and mental health but I just have never been able to express myself properly. The reason I've decided to open up and write this is because I had a bit of a shock when my close friend spoke to me about his mental illness and said "you don't understand" when the reality is I do, I've just been so closed off about my own MH not even my closest of friends aren't aware of it. I honestly feel like there's so much I want to talk about it but I'd rather not have an essay so I guess I should stick to the basics.. whatever the basics are.


I find it hard to work out where it all started because it was quite a while ago and the memories are hard to put to a time frame. The earliest I can remember this all going south was when I was 13 being dumped my first love, collapsing on the floor in fits of tears followed by my Mum telling me I was overreacting. Within the next few months I went into a downward spiral, I started self harming because I couldn't imagine life without him and eventually it stopped being just about him; lying in bed sobbing scribbling on paper about how everything went wrong when I was 8/9- my Grandad died, my Dad left and my rabbit died. Even now I can't believe a triplet of events so horrible for that age happened so close together.

Time went on, I met new people and did new things - some bad (we'll keep that for another post) and some wonderful. I think it took me a long time after I started hurting myself for me to think about the term depression as I didn't understand what it really meant and I just thought I was pathetic. I remember taking a dozen online surveys that tell you if they think you have depression and they all flagged up with urgency, including my own GP's which led a phone call that I of course ignored.

Years down the line and I have still never seen anyone professionally about this and I don't think I ever will - shout at me if you want but that's that.

I have days, sometimes weeks where I can't think straight and all I want to do is sit in my bed and cry. I get in situations where my mind goes blurry, my entire body shakes and I feel like my heart is pounding out my chest. The difference from when I was 13 to now is I understand what my body is doing and why it is acting up - I just wish it wouldn't.
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04 August 2017

Majorca Pictures Galore


t a k e  m e  b a c k
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31 July 2017

Guess Who's Back (Back Again)

It feels so damn good to be here writing a post because I can finally say shout; I HAVE WIFI AGAIN! At the end of June Mum and myself put a deposit down on a gorgeous flat and after I returned from my sunny holiday in Mallorca we got our butts in gear and moved in, it's now the end of July and my Virgin package arrived in all it's glory, allowing me to get very frustrated with the mile long wires that make me feel sick just looking at them, but I am finally sat on my laptop with The Michalak's playing on the TV remembering what it's like to be in touch with the online world once again without texts telling me how many gigabytes of 4G I have left.

I feel like I'm talking to an old friend with so much to tell, so let's start with the whole new home thing. In my mind it sounds a little odd to say I'm renting with my Mum, usually your first rented property is on your own or with a partner, maybe even friends, but nope not me - though I definitely count my Mum as friend. I won't go into the details because 1) it's complicated and 2) I don't fancy telling the world the ins and outs of my our personal life, so let's talk about how huge my bedroom is because I literally have so much space I don't know what to do with it.

I'm not going to share photos on here as that will be a separate post when my room isn't a work in progress. My favourite spot in my room so far is 'work space' area, it's where I plan to sit down and blog, edit videos and even do a little work if needs be, all without the habit of adjusting my position on my bed a dozen times like I always have done and currently am doing due to the issue of no chair for my desk yet, anyone would think I'm picky.

The rest of the space in my room is slowly getting filled, I've just bought a storage unit for my bedside and I have a large chest of drawers for most of my clothes. I have a built in wardrobe so didn't need one of those and of course I have my lovely bed, but I currently have a big space the opposite side of my desk that sits empty. I would like a place to store make up and beauty products, but I also want a unit with shelving so as you can imagine I'm finding it pretty tricky to find something that's right but I know I'll come up with something.

Now I've told you a little about the flat; ok my bedroom, I'll talk a little about what's been going on with me. I finally have full time hours at work and I'm now what's called a Team Leader. My own Team Leader handed his notice in and I saw it as the perfect opportunity to go for the role, safe to say my interview went pretty damn well. Safe to say the new flat and the new job role means everything's going ok! I just need to get my head on and start blogging again because damn I've missed it!
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01 July 2017

10 Thoughts Now Pretty Little Liars Is Over

I'm still confused.

EMISON ♥

But seriously, how did the Moms escape the basement?

SEVEN FUCKING SEASONS.. FOR THAT?!

Twins are just evil.

American's brutalise the English accent.

Sooo.. what do I do with myself now?

I don't even remember what happened in the first season.

Addison can stay missing, I'm not wasting more time.

I AM SO DONE.







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14 February 2017

Lush Valentines Bath Haul


We all know by now that I am slightly obsessed with Lush and although I have quite a few (a large box full is a 'few' right?) of their products waiting to be used, I couldn't resist purchasing more when they released the Valentine's range. How was I supposed to resist rainbow unicorn horns and heart eyed emoji faces? So there I was in the Lush Bournemouth store talking to one of the lovely girls making sure I picked up every Valentine bubble bar and bath bomb with the excuse of purchasing for a blog post in my head.


Lovestruck Bubble Bar
When I first saw the products available in the Valentine range this immediately caught my eye due to the modern emoji design, it's definitely a stand out item. I tend to avoid citrus scented products in Lush but I couldn't resist the brightly coloured bubble bar and luckily the lemon fragrance isn't too overpowering.

Over And Over Bath Bomb
This is the only product I was doubtful to try as I knew it was a citrus scent and it looked a little boring but when the staff member pointed out how the scent resembled cola bottles I couldn't help but agree and quickly popped it into a bag.

Lover Lamp Bath Bomb
I purchased this bomb last year and was very eager to pick it up again, it's very simplistic with a sweet scent but the tiny heart confetti and three larger hearts that soon melt away into the hot water make it this bomb a cutie.

Ladybird Bubble Bar
Another product I have tried previously and as this was the last one left on display I had to give this little lady a home. I've already used her and had a very bubbly, colourful and yummy scented bath.

Unicorn Horn Bubble Bar
I feel like this product speaks for itself, it looks good, it smells good and damn it makes lots of bubbles.

Cupid Bath Bomb
Pink, floral and designed with a arrow through the heart, can it get anymore Valentines than this? It's just so cute.

Rose Bombshell Bath Bomb
Lastly is another product I tried last time round and fell in love with. I was extremely happy to see this return. I love the floral scents and the shade of pink  it turns your water but I especially love the floating petals.


HAPPY VALENTINES/GALENTINES/TUESDAY.
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Let's Catch Up


I haven't blogged for months and in all honestly it feels weird to be writing again. I never imagined my blog would sit silent for such a long time, realistically it was never meant to be silent at all it just kind of happened, one day I had WiFi the next day I didn't and just like that one thing after another meant my little space here had to take a step back.

I can hold my hands up and say back in October I was struggling to post but that was purely due to having a hell of a lot going on and I just couldn't focus on blogging. During this crappy time I actually attended a Lush blogger event where I met new bloggers and was filled with such positivity I couldn't wait to share it in the shape of a post and video. It made me realise how much I loved blogging and was ready to take it more seriously, talk about bad timing because November said 'bye bye Jess's internet.'

I am not going to go in to any detail about what's been going on in my life and the exact reasons behind where I've been and why I have no WiFi, all that matters is I'm posting again. I do have to admit it's nice to not spend my life online 24/7 anymore, I have a normal sleeping pattern and I don't feel the urges to check every social media account constantly, I just get by with a little bit of mobile data, free WiFi and my boyfriend's house so I'm not completely offline.

If this post could be a text message it would read:
'Hi I'm back, I miss you, but bare with me I have no WiFi'
That's a lot simpler than those rambling paragraphs.
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01 November 2016

First Impressions And Swatches: Naked Ultimate Basics Palette

Urban Decay has captured my heart when it comes to their Naked range, every time they announce a new palette I cannot wait to get my hands on it so of course when they announced the Naked Ultimate Basics filled I waited patiently for it to be released in the UK and here we are.


The Naked Ultimate Basics Palette is filled with twelve exclusive matte shadows and is what every Urban Decay lover out there has been dreaming of. It also has a huge mirror filling the opposite side and a cute two ended brush, both contributing to this palette being ideal for travel - it's sturdy packaging is lighter than it looks!

The majority of the twelve shadows are very neutral, of course this is expected from any Naked palette but of course there are the darker shades to allow a bit more fun and definition to your make-up look. 

Blow - A demi-matte, which makes it the highlighting shade.
Nude - Exactly as it's named, a completely nude pink.
Commando - This is a is pale taupe.
Tempted - Pale brown.
Instinct - Pink-taupe.
Lethal - Darker brown with a red tone.
Pre-Game - Pale yellow.
Extra Bitter - Burnt orange - my favourite shade in this palette.
Faith - Medium brown.
Lockout - Pure darker matte brown.
Magnet - Gorgeous smoky grey.
Blackjack - Simple black.



It is safe to say I love this palette and I'm so glad Urban Decay listened to everyone's feeback because once again, they have done well! The shades are gorgeous and as always with Urban Decay shadows they're creamy, pigmented and long lasting and the whole range of colours are complimenting of one another.

Tell me your thoughts on the Urban Decay Naked Ultimate Basics palette! Are you a Naked lover like me?
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